1 post tagged “fatherhood”

     As something of an accidental complement to the last post, I have been thinking a lot about children and motherhood lately. When I told one of my suitemates, Alexandra, she said that she had also been thinking about motherhood, but only in the sense that it would let her become a stay-at-home mother and drop out of college (a joke, I presume). Regardless, that got me thinking about the different motivations that people may have to become mothers and fathers. Undoubtedly it happens quite often by accident, but when it doesn't, what is it that makes two people (or one person, if through a sperm donor or adoption) want to be parents?
    I am reading Plato's Symposium for Literature Humanities and came across an interesting passage in Diotima's speech, in which the topic (as all of the rest of the book) is love (and remember that this is all describing males):
    "Now, some people are pregnant in body, and for this reason turn more to women and pursue love in that way, providing themselves through childbirth with immortality and remembrance and happiness, as they think, for all time to come." She continues to argue that those who are pregnant "in mind" are more "drawn to bodies [and souls] that are beautiful," for they want what they need, and what they need is to beget something beautiful (if they themselves are so), and so look for a partner who would give them that.
    That's more philosophical than the discussion that I was intending on leading, but it brings up a good point. Although I really doubt that many man, if any at all, consider the physical beauty of their children in picking a mate, I do believe that there's some inherent desire that attracts two people to one another. Getting back on the subject of child bearing, I wonder if men (I focus on men because Plato does so) really do make the same connection as Diotima does between "childbirth" and "immortality." Is that the reason that some (or even most) men want to have children? From what I've seen in my experience with pregnant females (which has generally been limited to family members and some high school peers), the reasons, age of the woman aside, generally have to do with desiring unconditional love or wanting to make something with a partner. The younger women, those who were around sixteen when they got pregnant, tended to discuss the desire for a stable family, while the older women (generally in their late twenties) would cite loving their partner and wanting to pass on the family name, genetic qualities, wanting to teach a younger generation, etc.
     I'm putting these questions out to all of the fathers out there (and any mothers, if they want to answer-- heck, even people without kids are welcome to answer the first question): What made you originally want to be a father? What were the particular circumstances surrounding your fatherhood? Do you still agree with the original impetus or desire that made you want to become a father?